You may be someone who feels as though your biggest conflicts are with yourself.  You don’t have the energy you want. You may even be depressed.  You can’t seem to create or sustain the depth of relationship with others that you want.  You may even find yourself making choices that are obviously harmful to you. [If you sometimes choose to physically harm yourself or have persistent thoughts of harming yourself please read Self Harming.]

There may be medical issues that are causing these symptoms so be sure you have checked in with your chiropractor or internist about what is happening for you physically.  But if that doesn’t seem to be the problem, there are some ways that applying Creative Conflict Resolution can help you get unstuck in your life.  But there are two things that are absolutely going to have to happen for you for this the work.  One is that you are going to have to pick one thing to work on and the other is that it will have to be something that arises for you in the context of someone who matters to you.

One of the biggest reasons we get stuck is that there is something we have to address that we really don’t want to address.  We can be so keen to avoid addressing this issue that we don’t even know what it is.  I am serious about this.  We don’t know what the problem is.  And if we don’t know the problem we can’t address it.  So we have to start somewhere.

So pick one thing that bothers you in a relationship with someone who matters to you.  You may notice that you are afraid that you may be picking the wrong thing.  You may be upset that you are finding fault with someone who is good to you…who doesn’t deserve to have you singling them out.  Don’t worry.  Addressing whatever conflicts there might be will actually strengthen the relationship.  If you do this well you will actually benefit others.

But you have to pick one thing.  You can’t eat the whole elephant right away.  You can only take one bite at a time.

And let me just say this again, the only way this doesn’t work is if you don’t pick one thing and stay with it.  If you decide to address something else as well, fine, you can come back and do it again.  But stay with the process and with the Persistent Pattern of Conflict you have selected.

If you want to know the theory that grounds these exercises, go to Fighting without Fighting.  If you don’t need that and just want to jump in go to New Ways of Being and follow the thread from there.

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